More of a Sam!girl than ever

[vyperdd]

This is my Sammy!!!! YogaSam with the arms and the muscles and the absolute yumminess!!!!! Though would have loved a wide shot of him doing the downward dog. And BAMF! Sam kicking ass and searching for Dean And yay Sam got knocked down but not knocked out.

And I'll always love Stoned!Dean!!! and 'flirting' with the fitness instructor.

I think my favourite line was Sam's "You're not the only who's dated someone bendy" made all the more awesome by the look on Jared's face. Priceless!!!!!


I'm seeing so many comments on my flist from Dean fans about how cruel and mean and uncaring Sam was when he said he wouldn't save Dean. To me, Sam was saying that if push came to shove (and the circumstances were the same as 901) he wouldn't force or trick or lie to Dean to do something that Dean wouldn't be okay with. He would respect that even if it meant Dean would die.

Would Dean be okay with being tricked into being possessed and then his body and mind taken over and used to kill one of their friends? Dean has said in the past that he doesn't like being lied to and yet he's more than willing to keep lying for weeks, maybe even months to Sam out of fear of Sam finding out, making a choice that Dean doesn't agree with and being left alone.

I am so glad Sam was so open and honest and direct when he said Dean saved him for DEAN, because Dean couldn't stand being alone.

Dean has got to start respecting Sam's choices and decisions and the right to have control over his own life, his own body and his own mind, all of which were taken from him just so Dean wouldn't be alone. I know it hurt Dean by the look on his face but he has got to learn just because Sam said he wouldn't save Dean doesn't mean that Sam doesn't love him. Sam loves Dean enough to respect his choices.

I thought Dean had kind of acknowledge that he was wrong at the end of Sharp Teeth:

DEAN
Somebody changed the playbook, man, you know? It's like what -- what -- what's right is wrong and what's wrong is more wrong,

but now he's all "what I did was right and I'd do it all over again" and screw what Sam wants and screw the consequences. This makes me very scared for Sam. What line is Dean going to cross the next time he wants to save Sam? And what kind of suffering is this going to cause Sam and others around them?

And his surprise/shock when Sam told him that Dean saved him not for Sam but so that he (Dean) wouldn't be alone made me go what????
From Road Trip:
SAM
I was ready to die, Dean!

DEAN
I know. But I wouldn't let you, because that's not in me.

And from way back in 301:

SAM
Yeah, well, you're a hypocrite, Dean. How did you feel when Dad sold his soul for you? 'Cause I was there. I remember. You were twisted, and broken. And now you go and do the same thing. To me. (pause) What you did was selfish.

DEAN
Yeah, you're right. It was selfish. But I'm okay with that.

So now Dean is now unaware that he blatantly ignores Sam's wishes and decisions if they don't match his own????

The next couple of weeks of hellatus for us Sam!girls is going to be tough but I couldn't be more proud of Sam right now and I'm also very proud of the writers for letting Sam say what he did. It needed to be said and more importantly, Dean needed to hear it and it was a lot clearer than the stilted, open-ended dialogue Sam has been given the last couple of eps.

My only worry is whether Dean will take any of it to heart? Will he finally understand why Sam is so hurt by what he did and that just because he loves Sam, that doesn't give him the right to over-ride Sam's wishes and decisions.

Comments

[hells-half-acre.livejournal.com]

Agreed agreed!

And also nice that you pointed out that back in S3, Dean KNEW it was selfish and just didn't care... now he seems to be trying to cloak his decisions in doing it for Sam. So Sam was definitely right in calling that out as bullshit. It's not an expression of love, it's an expression of personal desperation not to be alone.

I'm really interested in seeing where their relationship goes next. This talk was a long time coming and something that they needed to have.

[vyperdd.livejournal.com]

Me too and yes it was, far too long in coming. And like most great conversations between them it was raw and honest and hurt like hell for them as well as us but I just know it will have for the best in the long run if they come away from it with a much healthier relationship.

[sunny214.livejournal.com]

This is exactly what I wrote in my review on my journal. That Dean said it to Sam in back in Season 3 and he also said that he does not have a problem with him leave now Sam alone. And now he is acting like he has never heard or said something like this (you saved me because of you not me) before. He knows he did something very wrong otherwise he wouldn´t have hide it and lied constantly about it and feeling miserable because of it.

I like the idea someone posted that he can not say he is sorry for it because that would mean he is sorry that Sam is alive and that is something Dean will never be. And I would totally understand it maybe if he would tell Sam that and that because of that he can not say I am sorry it will help both brothers.

[hells-half-acre.livejournal.com]

Well, to be fair to Dean, he did WANT to tell Sam right away what he had done - it was Gadreel/Ezekiel who made him keep it a secret because if Sam flipped out and ejected him Sam would die.

Now, mind you, seeing as how Dean agreed that there was a big chance of Sam flipping out and ejecting Gadreel, it confirms that Sam would choose death over angel possession.

[sunny214.livejournal.com]

I totally understand why Dean did it and as a Samgirl I am glad that he did.
But still he should have been honest with Sam earlier. This was the worst kind scenario how he could find out about the possession. Maybe Sam would have reacted differently when Dean talk with him in a much calmer situation.

[zebra363.livejournal.com]

So much (potential future) relationship development with that conversation! It was great to hear Sam spell all that out.

[vyperdd.livejournal.com]

Yes. I just hope and pray that the writers don't stuff this wonderful opportunity up.

And see what progress is made when Sam is allowed to finish HIS sentences HIMSELF, not other people doing it for him.

[jessm78.livejournal.com]

Totally agree! When this one ended I felt pretty sad after the way the final scene went, but when I thought about it more it made total sense.

I think my favourite line was Sam's "You're not the only who's dated someone bendy" made all the more awesome by the look on Jared's face. Priceless!!!!!

I LOVED that one!!! :D

[sunny214.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this great review and friending me!
I love your thoughts and agree completely with everything you wrote.
And I agree that the next weeks will be tough but we as Samgirls are used it by now - don´t we?! :)
And I also hope that Dean will find a way in the next episodes to truly understand where Sam is coming from.
He loves Dean more then anybody but Dean did cross a line when he aloud Gadreel into Sam and I hope he will never do something like this again.
He has to learn to respect Sams wishes no matter how much it would hurt him.

[vyperdd.livejournal.com]

I was just so jazzed about this ep and Sam in particular that I just had to squeal my thoughts out somewhere.
Thanks, it's great to know that I'm not alone in my feelings and thoughts. For as much anti-Sam and Sam-hate and Sam-bashing I'm seeing there is just as much Sam-loving and folks who understand what Sam meant and why he said it to balance things out.

And I also hope that Dean will find a way in the next episodes to truly understand where Sam is coming from.
He loves Dean more then anybody but Dean did cross a line when he aloud Gadreel into Sam and I hope he will never do something like this again.
He has to learn to respect Sams wishes no matter how much it would hurt him.

I agree with every word of this. Sam does love Dean of that I have no doubt. But his love is of the sort that, even though it will tear my heart out, I'm willing to let you go, to let you die if that's what you want.

I can't help but think of a time 3 years ago when I had to make the heart-wrenching decision to have my beloved 14yo dog (see icon) put to sleep. She had numerous health issues and was losing strength each day. She had stopped eating and drinking. I could have kept giving her medication and tube feeds just so I didn't have to lose her, just so I didn't have to face the misery of coming home to an empty house every day. But I knew just by looking into her eyes and how lethargic she was ready to go and that it would have been cruel to make her suffer any longer. So I held her as the vet did the injection and I kept holding her until she passed away. Went home and pretty much cried for the next couple of days and yet I didn't feel an ounce of regret. I knew I had done the right thing for her and I will do it again (if given the chance) for my current dog and every future one too.

[sunny214.livejournal.com]

Yes I agree that it is good to know that we are not alone with our Sammy love and understanding.

I am sorry to hear that you had to let your beloved dog go. I totally understand what you are saying with it and I am somehow glad that you were strong enough to put your dog first. It must have been an heartbreaking decision for you. I hope that your new dog will.have a long joyful life for both of you.

[kalliel]

As a Dean!girl, I loved everything about this episode! And I've heard that half of fandom is in a tizzy over that last scene, but I thought it was perfect. But I think what it showcases most of all is that while Dean obviously doesn't get where Sam's coming from with this at all, Sam also doesn't get why that is; they're having two separate arguments. As one does. XD (Or, well, Sam is having an argument; Dean doesn't have any idea what Dean's doing, except make everything worseeeee.)

[vyperdd.livejournal.com]

I like this comment...... I think!! Welcome to my little corner of LJLand. I love hearing other perspectives as long as it's kept civil and polite.

I agree that they aren't on the same page at all. I don't think Dean (or a lot of Deangirls, not you obviously) heard the 'same circumstances' part of Sam's "I wouldn't save you' speech".

But I still think Sam was spot on when he said Dean saved him for Dean and not because it was what was best for Sam. It also didn't escape my notice that Dean was more than willing to "kill Sam" by killing Gadreel when Gadreel took complete control. Dean's Sammy was gone ( or so he thought) so he didn't need or want the shell (Sam's body) any longer. (Hope that makes sense).

[kalliel]

Hello! :D And haha, yeah, I noticed that we're ~friended to each other, but I didn't actually know under what circumstances that happened. XD But you're awesome, so---! :D

And yeah, I'm rather certain Dean did not take what Sam said at all the way Sam meant him to, or assumed he would. XP But I don't think Sam realizes the extent to which he's being misinterpreted; uh oh! (Same for Dean!girls, though I think SPN itself knew exactly what an uproar that would cause. XD THAT'S OUR SHOW, FOREVER PLAYING HARDBALL.)

I agree with you on that, too; I think Dean definitely saved Sam mostly for Dean. He owned to that much the first time around, I mean, back in 3x01; now that it's come up again, though, he's dug himself a much deeper hole and nothing is a clear as (he thought) it was however many years ago. He's also assuming a lot about Sam (or The World in general, really) based on himself, which as Sam has been trying to point out, or trying to articulate, simply isn't accurate!

[reggie11.livejournal.com]

I completely agree. That conversation was well overdue and Sam wasn't being cruel, he was being honest. Sam has learned by his mistakes and Dean still makes the same ones over and over. Sam has realised that their lives are no more important than anyone else's and that the collateral damage to them saving each other is not worth it. Dean may love Sam with all his heart but he doesn't respect him or his wishes.
Dean has admitted on more than one occasion that he selfishly saves Sam because he can't go it alone (there ain't no me if there ain't no you) so why is it wrong for Sam to call him on it?

I'm loving the developments of this season. Maybe, finally, Dean will eventually be able to see that he can't keep making Sam's choices for him and their relationship can become all that more stronger for it.

[katwoman76.livejournal.com]

Totally agree with everything you wrote.